2005

2005 was not great. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't what I'd call a good year either. I have a strange division in my memory - pre-Katrina and post-Katrina. The whole section of 2005 before feels like a different year entirely. Let's see what we have here:

January - I had to have oral surgery because I had an eensy-teensy bit of bone left over from having my wisdom teeth pulled (years ago, but whatever) that caused an infection and my whole face to puff up. Fun. I also went to Houston by myself for a friend's birthday party and opened a Nordstrom account that I still haven't paid off. whoo.

February - Valentine's Day...uh. I have no recollection of February 2005. Seriously - I don't remember a damn thing about this month.

March - I had a happy hour on what would have been my wedding anniversary. This day was made even more, er....interesting?? when my ex decided to send me a dozen roses - in honor of the non-event. For the record, he was not a big flower sender when we WERE married - something that always annoyed me, because HI!!! I'm a girl!! SEND ME SOME FUCKING FLOWERS, NIMROD. And if you finally do?? Try to make it while we're still married instead of using it as an opportunity to make me aware of your regrets, OK??

April - I raided my IRA to pay a gigantic tax bill, threw a shower for my best friend, watched same best friend get married in one of the most perfect wedding ceremonies EVER and went off my meds - which means I sobbed through all of the above. Oh - and I fell for Max when he showed up at the rehearsal dinner all clean-shaven and yummy looking.

May - 34th birthday, first date with Max and one last visit to Louisiana before it sank. Of course, I didn't KNOW that, so I didn't grab all the pictures that I laughingly showed kiddo, or any of the keepsakes that I've secretly lusted over or take any Goddamned pictures. I need to stop thinking about May.

June - I, uh, I was here for June. I think the kiddo went to Mexico in June? I spent a LOT of time at Max's house. Heh.

July - I went to Kansas (Hi Jane!!) and Nebraska. I came home, and there was a whole other 3 weeks left and I don't remember what happened. Sigh.

August - It was hot. Katrina began the process of sinking my hometown.

September - My hometown sank. I got to consume all KINDS of live music. On the 14th, we saw Weezer and The Foo Fighters, and then on the 28th, 29th and 30th we went to the Austin City Limits Music Festival and OH MY GOD it was so fuckin' hot. And dusty. And hot. Did I mention hot?? We looked up at those hot dusty skies and wished for rain, not just because it was so damn hot, but also because it would have meant that Rita had turned West and spared New Orleans from yet more fucking water.

October - kiddo turned 14 and I officially became older than dirt. I also went to Louisiana to pick up my grandmother's cat (who managed to survive on the top floor of my grandmother's flooded house with no food for 5 weeks) and to pick up a variety of trinkets that had been rescued from my grandparent's house in New Orleans. Kiddo got herself into some major trouble at the beginning of this month.

November - Max's birthday and another trip to Louisiana for Thanksgiving. A visit to the first new place my grandparents have lived in over 40 years.

December - The first anniversary of the divorce. Christmas. I got to meet Max's family (this weekend!)

And here we are - I'm sitting here, at 10:00PM CST, with my boyfriend and my daughter and my cats. We're working on a table full of snacks (cheetos, ruffles, corn chips, dips, a cheese ball, some crackers, pizza rolls and bacon-wrapped scallops), we have a six-pack, a bottle of syrah, Diet Coke and a bottle of cheap champagne chilling in the fridge. My black-eyed peas are soaking.

Max is putting together his copy of Simpson's Operation (he got it for Christmas), so I guess we'll be playing that later.

I'm lucky - I'm spending my New Year's Eve with a couple of my favorite people and a bunch of junk food and some board games. Portions of this year have sucked. I cried a lot. All through January, I was in physical pain. I cried through the entire month of April. I started crying at the end of August and didn't stop until the end of September. Then kiddo got in trouble and the tears started again. I've uh, I've been OK for the past few weeks.

I've also laughed a lot this year. I laughed and danced at BFF's wedding. I laughed on my first date with Max, and I've laughed - a real laugh - at least once, every day that I've spent with him. I laugh to the point of tears and pain with kiddo on a regular basis. Hell, I've almost gotten into wrecks because I've laughed so hard with that child. I have a great boyfriend, a smartfunnyprettycool kid and two snuggly cats. I have a job and lots of pretty clothes and my health. I'm a lucky person.

Point? No point. Just that a year is not a way to measure a life. I think I've been more happy than sad this year. I don't have any more money than I did, I'm heavier and I've probably managed to piss off just as many people as any other year. But I've also made some discoveries about myself and I think I can build on them. It's all good.

The Lord bless you and keep you
The Lord lift his face to shine upon you
And give you peace
The Lord make his countenance to smile on you
And be gracious unto you

Good luck to you in 2006.