Screw 'Em

From a comment thread on Feministe

"It seems like every time we turn around we’re hearing another story, and it would be a much better world if, when this sort of calamity happened, we couldn’t go “Oh fuck. Not again.” But really, the number of marauding psychos is a lot smaller than the number of, say, distracted drivers on city streets.

But if you can, think about what you’re giving up by letting the (relatively small number of) crazy people and killers make you afraid to do what you have every right to do. "*


Drink a glass of wine, kiss your kids on the forehead, even if they protest - hell, especially if they protest. Sit on the front porch and blow bubbles. Fingerpaint, eat donuts, walk to the store instead of driving, buy the good cheese, let the dog sleep on the bed.

Live your life, people. Don't let the assholes of the world get you down, because when you do?? They win. Life is too Goddamn short to live in fear and negativity.


*Comment by zingerella and edited. Bold added by me.

Not one single question about my favorite movies

Jul put up an interview that has not one damn thing to do with fairies or kitties or coffee flavors. Thank you, Jul. Enjoy.

1. You can travel back in time and visit yourself at [select all applicable] 10, 16, 22 and 30. What would you tell your various temporally-disjointed selves (any hokey "buy stock in Microsoft" replies will be taken out back and accused of antitrust violations)?

10 - Pay attention in class, you little shithead.
16 - Pay attention in class, you little shithead. And stop worrying so much about boys.
22 - You'll be fine on your own, you're stronger than you ever realized, leave the first time you think about it.
30 - You'll be fine on your own, you're stronger than you ever realized, leave the 30 squillionth time you think about it.

2. Analogy Tyme: if your drug of choice was an item which could be purchased at Home Depot for under $150, which one would it be, and why?

Storage and home organization items. Ironic, since I never seem to put a Goddamned thing away.

3. You can reanimate and spend several hours (say, sharing some Batter-Dipped Choco-Cheesecake Nibblers at the local crap-on-the-walls chain restaurant) with one of the following individuals - which one would you choose, and why?

- A deceased relative of whom you were moderately (but not overwhelmingly) fond.
- A randomly-selected serial killer of moderate notoriety.

Well, if we have to go with somebody I was only moderately fond of?? Hm. Probably my Aunt Bessie on my Dad's side - she was, oh what's the right word? A cantankerous old biddy. But the idea of sitting down for a day of apple pie and coffee while she told me stories about my Papa and my dad when they were little tykes just tickles me down deep in my soul.

4. Think of your most esoteric, potentially-humiliating sexual fantasy. Think of another, equally-odd (but completely fabricated) fantasy. Describe them both without identifying which is which.

HEH. A dark room and potential assault is involved in both. And that's all I'm gonna say.

5. What is the typical prison sentence for the most legally-questionable act you've ever committed?

180 days. Not bad.

6. Think of the worst physical pain you've ever experienced (childbirth, ping-pong ball-sized kidney stones, atomic wedgie). Think of the worst emotional pain (depression, divorce, disaster). Think of the person who is closest to you in the world (child, spouse, sibling). You must decide whether they will suffer a comparable degree of physical OR emotional pain. If you choose the former, you will be required to inflict it yourself. If you choose the latter, it will occur without any involvement on your part. Which do you choose?

Gah. My answer will sound a lot like Dr. Mama's but I couldn't inflict that much physical pain on the kiddo or Jef. Kiddo's young and has a lot ahead of her, so I suspect she'll go through emotional pain of that caliber without any intervention on my part anyway. So Jef, guess you're up for some emotional whammies, big boy. Sorry. I'll hold the chocolate.

7. You're granted the power to uncover the truth behind one very, very big secret of the modern age - who shot Kennedy? What the hell is the deal with celebrity Scientologists? You will not be permitted to share this knowledge with anyone, ever - it will be solely to satisfy your own curiosity. What do you choose to learn?

Not a Goddamn thing. If I can't tell anybody else, I don't want to know. HMPH. Can't share, my left hind foot.

8. While purchasing some plantains at Tienda Mexicano, you find The Lord. You discover that he is a cruel, arbitrary Lord, as well as one who has read entirely too many "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. He takes you outside, sits you down on the hood of his El Camino, hands you a can of Jugo de Coco and informs you that you will never see any of your current loved ones
again. They will continue to live their lives, just magically sans any awareness of your continued existence. By way of compensation, you'll be allowed to determine your own natural lifespan. You may elect to die instantly, live to 120 or any option in between. What do you choose? Why?

Interesting, since that description sort of matches my idea of God. Jul - come to Texas, we must drink together. I'm assuming I'd get to make new loved ones? New connections? I wouldn't just wander the world for the next 85 years as some sort of Kung-Fu spectre, would I? Assuming I would get to have human contact of some kind, I vote to live to about 80/85.

9. You are given the opportunity to sample human flesh. Your enjoyment of this unusual entree will not be the result of any amoral acts - the source of your Bruce Burger (Tim Tartare? Francois Filet?) will be an individual who has died of unrelated causes. Your consumption of said flesh will not be as a result of starvation, nor as a condition of some sick wager ("Take a chomp out of Lloyd's thigh and I'll give you season tickets to Six Flags Over Highly Unlikely Transactionville"). Yea or nay?

Um...no. I feel guilty when I pass cows on the highway now, I can't imagine what it would be like going to the mall after that. No.

10. You are given a Memory Dustbuster. It looks like a regular Dustbuster, circa 1989. However, when held against the human skull, it has the ability to suck out specific memories. Like many small appliances, this one has gotten a bit finicky in its old age. It no longer removes single memories... for each one which is removed, an equal-but-opposite second memory is also vacuumed up. You can suck out a particularly awful recollection... however, you'll also lose a happy memory of comparable intensity, and you have no say in which one it happens to be.

Lose the memory of my dad dying, but risk losing the memory of seeing him hold his grandchild for the first time?? Oh hell no. I'll keep it all, thank you.

11. The Enormous Glowing Sphere of Influence Equation: how many of the following events have occurred in your life for which you've felt personally responsible? By this, I mean that the event in question would definitely NOT have occurred were it not for one or more conscious decisions on your part. Do NOT include events which were confined strictly to your professional life - thus, lawyers/doctors/matchmakers/executioners/etc. should use their discretion on this one.

- Marriages - 2 (yep, 2)
- Divorces - 1 (my own, heh)
- Births/adoptions - 1
- Deaths - 0
- Involuntary commitments (mental institution/rehab/prison) - 0
- Relocations of over 1,500 miles - HM. Was I any part of the decision to move back to New Orleans when Daddy Brad died?? I'll have to come back and edit this one.

- Ascension to a level of fame/renown/power sufficient to interest/impact more than 10,000 individuals - hahhahhahaahhahahahahaa - zip!
- Change in income level of +/- 50% - I guess 1, see above in re: divorce
- Formal adoption/renunciation of religious faith (or other organized belief system) - 0

12. An exercise in writing, randomness and self-reflection (when commenting/posting, only include item "C"):

A. In exactly 25 words, describe the thing you're proudest of.
B. In exactly 25 words, describe the thing you're most ashamed of.
C. Combine the odd-numbered words from A. with the even-numbered words from B

I also gave it some interpretive punctuation, just for giggles.

My having witty guts. Sarcastic leave, iron-willed unhappy chef; hiding lover I. Artistic wanted!!! Colorful out - outgoing infidelity. Open-minded, of brilliant, up resilient an daughter.