There's a long (not terribly interesting) story about how I got this question, but here's the question for the day:
If you could have any plastic surgery alteration, what would it be? First tell me the realistic stuff - tummy tucks, butt lifts, third eye removals?? Then tell me the outlandish stuff - prehensile tails, wings, third joints in the legs so you could walk like an ostrich??
Me?
Ok, realistically, I'm actually pretty happy with my body. I know a few of you out there probably immediately thought "breast reduction" and you know what? Fuck y'all. I've finally gotten used to the damn things and I'm keeping 'em. My first answer was liposuction on my tummy, but then I thought about how painful liposuction has always looked and reconsidered. I think I'd see if they could do anything about the red circles/bags under my eyes. It doesn't matter how much sleep I get - lack of sleep just makes them more red - I always have red circles and bags under my eyes. More genetic payola from Dad. So yeah, I'd go in and have that taken care of in the least invasive way possible (no knives by the eyes, GAH! MUST WASH BRAIN AFTER PUTTING THOSE TWO WORDS IN SAME SENTENCE! AUGURGRGRGRGRRRGGRGRG!!)
Now on the outlandish stuff. I think I'd get big springs implanted in the bottoms of my feet so that when I needed to get somewhere, I could just *booi-ooi-ooing* over to it, like a giant flea. Wouldn't that be cool??
Oh quiet, you know it would rock.
All right - Hit me in the comments or leave a link to your own entry.
7 comments:
I would get my tummy all tucked up. Damn, it's a mess. I just never bounced back from 2 pregnancies 15 months apart. It's very...slack. It's ...ewwww. Don't tell anyone, okay? It's my secret shame.
The second part is easy. I'm a teacher. I need eyes in the back of my head.
So peewee...you would have his penis lopped off?
Oy.
If I could lose the weight first, I'd have the flabbies left fixed, no implants, thanks...so I'd have cute little boobies. And no muscle choppage, so I might still have a pooch, but it would not be a flabby one, by god!
Flamboyant....hmmmmmmm....elf ears.
I would possibly get my overbite fixed (I was supposed to get that done when I was a kid) because it's part of the reason my teeth are so screwed up.
But I dunno, I might rather wait until I'm done losing weight just in case. I don't expect to lose more than about ten more pounds, but I live in fear of Losing My Boobs. I've lost about 40-45 pounds without them getting any smaller and I'm concerned that when I start lifting weights again I will wake up one day with no boobs. And then I would need a boob job. There may be no basis in fact for this fear since I lifted weights all the time before and didn't lose them (I think it's my refusal to do any cardio that's spared them, actually) but see, I didn't used to have much in the way of boobs when I was young and skinny, and I've gotten kinda attached to them.
For the second question? Pixie wings. No two ways about it.
By the way, munch...that's a really...disturbing picture (which, I'm sure, is why you used it).
Lawd have mercy; WHERE did you find that picture?????
I have already gotten the most important surgeries for me, but if I had the money, time and inclination I would get a tummy tuck, and perhaps a full face/neck lift when I'm in my 50's. I'll probably never be able to afford them, though!
Wings! I want BIGASS black wings so that I look like an avenging angel! Then I'd fly about, scaring people for sh*ts-and-giggles.
re the picture- Good grief!
I would get my hip replaced so I could walk more than 10 yards without a cane. Cosmetically, hm...I'm pretty content with that.
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