Ruminating

I love you guys, really I do. To show my love, here are two wildly different links to entertain you.

This chic is hilarious. Seriously. And she makes pretty, PRETTY art that I want to buy and hang in every room of my house.

This is not even remotely safe for work. Seriously - it involves penises - LOTS of them. But oh my shit, is it funny. And a little scary. Scroll down, you'll see what I mean.

I couldn't find the exact quote - but there's a part in "Best In Show" where Sherri Ann Cabot is standing at the snack bar, saying that she's too nervous to go in the auditorium and her brain told her to just stay there, and until she gets another message, she's just gonna stay right there and wait.

When I'm dealing with big decisions, that's sort of what I do. It's not intentional, but whenever I try to sit down and reason out an answer or a solution, it goes a little like this:

"Ok, so I need to - OOOH SHINY!"

So, yeah, the idea of sitting down and reasoning things out and weighing the pros and cons of a situation is just ridiculous for me. The answer to a problem is more likely to come to me at the end of a 3-mile run than at the end of a hour long conversation with a friend. Honestly, by the time I've gotten around to talking with a friend, I've usually made up my mind about the situation - if I can verbalize it, I've decided. I'm weird that way.

Sometimes, the answer comes in a dream (yeah, I know how hippy-trippy that sounds, shut the hell up) and sometimes it comes to me while I'm writing an entry and sometimes it comes to me while I'm having an imaginary conversation with someone who's pissed me off (what? You don't do that?) and sometimes it just slowly dawns on me what I need to do. Sometimes it comes to me when I ask a pain-in-the-ass insightful friend for advice and I see my question or "problem" (note the use of quotes) and I realize how ridiculous I sound and I know exactly what PITAIF is going to say before they say it. Self-awareness can suck the root sometimes.

I think part of why I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately is because I've got some questions brewing in the back room of my brain. But see, the problem with this method is that I don't always know what the questions are either. HEH.

I know part of it is money-related, because it's always money-related. This is the joy of being responsible for my own shit. I still think I prefer this to the old way.

Part of it is my upcoming trip to Louisiana. Jef and I are heading down there around the 12th to visit and pick up the kiddo's truck* and I'm a little leery about this trip. I've already warned Jef that he'll be going on The Tour of Sadness 2007, since we have the whole year anniversary thing and I'd love to show him my childhood home(s) but HEY, they got eaten by a hurricane! And look, my poppa just got one of his knees replaced! And yeah. Just...bleh. I want Jef to meet both sides of my family, (which says quite a bit, actually) but I just wish he could have met them a year ago. I wish he could have met my dad and I wish he could have met my grandparents (on both sides) before Katrina. So, yeah. That's sort of weighing on me a little.

HM....there's more, 'cause I wrote about that and usually when I feel this way and I write, I get this "aha!" feeling and I suddenly feel lighter. Or sometimes I cry. Anyway, none of that has happened yet, so there's something else.

I'll figure it out, and I'll let y'all know. In the meantime, enjoy the links and have a glass of wine on me. Might I recommend the Norton Malbec? Cheap, easily drinkable, cleans out of beige carpet easily. Ahem.

*Not sure if I told y'all this story or not. My dad fretted about what to leave me and Kayleigh because that's just the sort of guy he was. He decided to sell his truck and leave the money to me so I could buy kiddo her first car. She spoke up and said "No, I want the truck." So - she gets her poppa's truck. Which is pretty darn cool, if you think about it.