full of holes, like swiss cheese

This morning I got on my scale, as I do every morning, in the vain hope that I will have magically lost 10 pounds and lo! I magically lost 10 pounds!! I looked, skeptically, critically, at the reflection of my ass in the mirror and said "um..no, I don't think so" and climbed off the scale. Sure enough, the little dial had been scooched and the scale was off by 10 pounds. I fixed it. No magic today.

Listen up!!!

alter - to change

altar - a place where a religious ceremony, such as a wedding, takes place.

Get it right, folks. Y'all are killin' me.

Anyway - Dallas and Jef were (as per usual) wonderful. Since we're both giant geeks with impulse spending problems who can't seem to stop thinking about each other (I'll wait while you finish retching) we did a strange little gift exchange when I got there. I'd bought him an ACL t-shirt and he'd gotten me an autographed (autographed!!) copy of Silent Bob Speaks and some other silly stuff.* So it was like a mini Christmas, what with the kissing and the unwrapping and stocking stuffing.

Ahem

Anyway - I spent the weekend there the way I typically spend the weekend at home. That is to say, in my pajamas, reading, snuggling with a cat or two, eating too many carbs, watching too much TV and taking naps. The main difference was that instead of whining "whaaaaaa, I miss Jef", I could just walk over and smooch on him right then. It was pretty damn cool.

And yes - he and I are fuckin' rockstars, what with the couch-riding and movie watching. You know you're jealous. Don't deny it.

While we're on the subject of rock stars, may I please have these shoes? Thank you.

Ok gang, time for me to go grocery shopping. Right now my fridge looks less like that of a set of stylish bachelorettes such as kiddo and myself and more like that of a couple of nasty boys, what with the half bottle of cheap wine, zip-loc bags of scary leftovers and mystery stains at the bottom. You know what that means don't you? While the kid is doing all the homework she didn't do this weekend (grrrrr), I'll be listening to Monday Night Football, putting away freshly purchased groceries and cleaning my refrigerator.

I'll be wearing my super-sexy penguin pants while I do it, too. Don't try to run baby, you know you want it. Come here for a cheap red wine kiss.

*A gimme hat from his company 'cause I wear baseball caps a lot. Shut up. And the funniest damn beer coozie I've ever seen. It has boobs. Again - SHUT. UP. I laughed out loud when he gave it to me.