I feel a bit like I came into the living room and vomited, and now we're all just sitting here, staring at the puddle, wondering what to do next.
HI! Welcome to beerandcarnations, home of the disgusting metaphor!!
Let's do a stupid survey that I ganked from Robyn and see if it acts like a little virtual sawdust.
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? “Jesus Christ, what the hell is going on with my forehead??" I have what's called a storkbite birthmark already, and a zit colony is setting up shop right between my damn eyes. Ugh.
2. When is the next time you will have sex? What a great question.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR”? whore. Heh
4. Favorite planet? Earth. All my stuff is already there.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? I don't have a missed call list right now because I got a new phone. Whoo.
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? No idea - see above in re: new phone. Since my "new phone" is my daughter's old phone, there is no telling what the ring is. Guess I should find out before it rings and "Fuck Whitey" plays in the middle of my office.
7. What shirt are you wearing? An aqua? teal? blue-green? knit shirt w/ 3/4 sleeves, that I may go back to Foley's and stock up on every other color in this shirt because it is comfy and flattering.
Robyn? Whither number 8??
9. Name the brand of shoes you’re currently wearing? UM. Black? Fuck, I don't know - I'd have to take 'em off, and once I do that, they're staying off.
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? Robyn rocks in every possible way, except for the whole yellow thing. One day, I'm gonna drive to Alabama and steal Sugarbutt.
12. Hey Janet? Where’d #12 go? Heh - seems as if dropping questions is a trend.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Finishing up my last entry and drinking red wine.
14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say? "Hey cutie."
15. Where is your letter box? With all the other ones right by the rental office. Aaah, apartment life.
16. What’s a word that you say a lot? Dude.
17.Who told you he/she loved you last? My kid.
18. Last furry thing you touched? Excuse me? Hee. One of the cats, I'm sure.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Advil and Excedrin Migraine.
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? None. Digital camera + Snapfish = true luve 4ever
21. Favorite age you have been so far? This one's not too bad. Some shitty stuff has happened while I was this age, but I find that I like myself more and more. By 50 I should be completely insufferable.
22. Your worst enemy? Me, me,me.
23. What is your current desktop picture? A picture of kiddo getting loved on by Phantom - the dog that belongs to Stepmom's incredible neighbors. She's looking up and it looks like she's just laughing her ass off while this dog tries to give her kisses. It's VERY kiddo.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? I have no idea.
25. If you had to choose between a million dollars, able to fly, which would you choose? Sadly, the million dollars. I'd be able to get rid of my credit card debt and buy a house. Plus, I can barely walk, and you people want me airborne?? Sadists.
26. Do you like someone? I like lots of people. Do you mean "do you want to fuck someone?" because the answer to that would be yes.
27. The last song you listened to? Some Sara McLachlan crap over streaming radio. ig. Her voice makes me want to poke out my ears.
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would you jump in front of the bullet? Well, since it was a co-worker...probably not. (Sorry guys) But I would render shitloads of aid and/or go after the gunman.
29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who’s in your life right now, who would it be? Hm. Maybe one of kiddo's friends who constantly leaves half-eaten food all over my house and had PAINTED an ANARCHY SYMBOL on the FRONT PORCH OF MY APARTMENT the other day. killkillkill
30. What is the closest object to your left foot? The floor.
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1 comment:
Please consider the internet your own personal living room, and feel free to vomit on the internet's floor all you want. It didn't seem like vomit to me - it was very heartfelt and honest and raw and beautiful, much like its writer. Although I wouldn't describe you as raw. Just your writing.
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