Dear Dude at Starbucks,
Ok, first off, an apology is probably in order. You caught me on the first bad mood morning I've had in a long time. And while I wasn't exactly bitchy, I guess I was...curt. But dude....c'mon. First you pick on me about how I pour half of my coffee out. (Actually - I order a smaller size in a larger cup, so that I don't have to pour half of it out - they fucked up.) Then - "Oh - you like it creamy, huh?"
YOU LIKE IT CREAMY?????
Dude...no. Just...NO. I'm sure you weren't trying to be smarmy. In fact, at that point, I think you realized what had just escaped your face and had the self respect to just shut up and move on with your day. Which is cool. Good for you. Again, I've had some exceptional mornings lately, but ask any of my friends - even with this freaky good mood streak I'm on? Pre-9AM + pre-caffeine + "You like it creamy?" You're lucky you still got kneecaps, buddy.
Just for future reference, because you seemed like a really nice guy (see above in re: self-awareness of when foot went into mouth and the brain power to STFU at that point) the morning crowd at a Starbuck's might not be the best place for the critiquing-the-cup-of-coffee-as-the-icebreaker approach. Not to dis your game there, homestack, but - as a hopeless caffeine junkie, I can tell you, even on the best of days, nothing makes me bristle faster than somebody talking smack about how I take my coffee. Us morning coffee girls, we like to get in, get our fix and get on with the day. No chit-chat, hit us with the hard stuff and move along. Most of the time, we're running late - why? BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T HAD OUR COFFEE YET. Sensing a theme here??
So, Mr. Creamy (heh) - polish up your game (I'll say it again - "you like it creamy?" has GOT TO GO) and take it to the afternoon shift. Do NOT let me seeing you sipping anything that ends in 'cino and uses a straw - those are for girls and teenaged boys. But - stick w/ the hot drinks and the occasional manly iced coffee, and you'll see - you'll be knee-deep in some highly caffeinated stuff before Labor Day.
Good luck my friend!!
Laura
3 comments:
Hmm next time hit on him back, it would probably freak him out. The success rate for early morn is prob horrid. And heck, if all else fails you can always just smile and say you were getting back at him for makeing fun of you.
Heh. I may have scowled and said something like "yupilikealotofcreaminmycoffeeyouhaveanicedaybye" I really wasn't in a great mood. Which - not the guy's fault, but C'MON?? YOU LIKE IT CREAMY!!!! GAH!!!
Sometimes in cases like this, all you need to make your point is an especially expressive set of eyebrows. I practice my eyebrow-speak at home in the mirror. Think John Belushi.
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